-sigh- Not a very good week...

So... yesterday was our big match against La Quinta, the only other undefeated school (well, duh; someone always loses). And we lost, 8-10.

I felt so horrible because I knew I could have won my first set (I was up 4-1 but ended up losing 4-6 and got killed 0-6 in the next two), and that would have put is at 9-all, and the match would have been determined by games. I ended up losing my focus, and that cost us the match. To anyone in tennis who reads this: I'm really sorry for letting you guys down. I am really, really sorry.

And today... well, today was just a bad day. I invited the guy I like to the match yesterday because it really was important to me... but he didn't come. He was busy; I understand that... but I wanted to know if he likes me.

I spent all night worrying about how to ask him and ended up getting only 6 hours of sleep (I need 7 to function properly). The only thing I said for sure was that I was going to ask him today, between 2nd and 3rd, and that I wasn't going to chicken out.

I opened the garage this morning and saw it raining. Not a good omen, I thought to myself, but I'm following through with this, no matter what.

The entire day was a sleepy haze; I couldn't focus on anything (luckily, we didn't do anything today). But at the end of 2nd period, I was so jumpy I had trouble staying silent during our reading period-- and I couldn't even focus on my book. It one of was Anne McCaffrey's books, celebrated author and one of my idols, and I couldn't focus. I was so anxious and nervous, but I knew I needed the peace of mind.

And... well... I got flat-out rejected. =_=;; The good news is, I actually saw it coming. It didn't hurt all that much and it felt as if someone had lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. Sure, it hurt, but I think it was worth it. I actually feel really at peace with myself right now. I can accept that he doesn't like me as truth, straight from his mouth, and I can deal with that. So there's not too much to be sad about.

I'm going to take this chance to forget him.