So lately, I've been pretty pessimistic. About a lot of things, actually; not just one or two little things that don't really matter. No; this really, really matters to me-- and not just to me.
Irvine (remember him? x]) and I have been going smoothly since school has come in, and yet... some shadow of doubt is coming through to me now. I'm a bit afraid that he'll realize he can get someone better than me (because he can; I'm aware) and break up with me. It really scares me; the thought of that happening.
I ended up talking to him about it last night, and he said something my "ex" (if you could even call him that...) did. "Unless you break up with me, then as far as I'm concerned, we're forever."
Now... on the surface, it's sweet, and it's the perfect thing to say to someone who's in doubt. But... someone's said that to me before. And we weren't forever (though it was arguably my fault... but I still have reason to doubt). I'm afraid. Truly, really, afraid. I told him I doubted the truth in that sentence. He told me that, yeah, he understood where I was coming from and that yeah, he could see why I would doubt him. He also said, though, that, despite his saying to other girls before, he didn't mean it more than when he said it to me then. I'd really love to believe that. If I could, then I'd be really happy.
Then again, though, I can't help but house some doubt. It feels like this is only going to last a short time, and I want it to last.
Anyway, this morning, he called me, and before he hung up, he said, "I love you more than the universe. And don't forget it!" Although I sorta doubt that (hell, it's hard to love something more than the universe...), I appreciate the message :]
And I was thinking... about how my previous relationship is similar to this one. I mean, the other guy and Irvine are similar, and the things they do... the things they say... they intertwine. The sentence above, for example. THey both said that. And, at the time, they both meant it. They both wrote me a poem each that made my week (possibly my month, but January's not over yet :3). I'm scared that Irvine will give me too much room to doubt, like the other guy did, and our relationship will crumble to pieces. I don't want that.
But then again, they're completely different in some aspects-- some important aspects. Irvine calls often, and we talk a lot, despite the fact that we see each other during school anyway. The other guy never called-- only when we were meeting up somewhere and to ask, "Where are you?" so we could meet up (when I told him that, Irvine was all, "That's horrible!" x]). Irvine always reminds me that he loves me whereas the other guy? Once a month, if I was lucky (but maybe that was because he was paranoid that my parents were watching).
When I told him all this, he made it clear that I was supposed to talk to him if I had any doubts at all. I'm... really happy that he said so. If he hadn't, I wouldn't feel this relieved (though I'm not completely relieved).
Earlier today, I was talking to him on AIM when he suddenly types, "WAAIIT." I sat there, staring at the computer. "Your phone, darling," he types patiently. I ran up and got it, noting the missed call from him. I called him back.
"I love you," he said cheerfully.
I grinned. "You called just to say that? That's like, two minutes of your life wasted."
"Well, I'm going to waste another five seconds. I love you~!"
I couldn't help but laugh. I love him so much.
I really hope that, if things change between us, it'll only change for the better.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Great day, great day <3
Mmkay. Well, I don't know about you all, but I had a great day today. It was absolutely great. I would use a better, more eloquent word, but honestly, I can't think of one right now because I'm so happy. I really am. <3
So today, I saw two people that I really, really miss: my best friend Kata-chan and my friend-turned-crush-turned-almost-boyfriend (who, for the sake of identity protection, we'll call Irvine). We, as a group of three, went to the moviess to watch "Sherlock Holmes" (which, by the way, was a pretty darn good movie. I liked it :3).
When I got out of the car, I saw Kata-chan and we did a weird slo-mo running scene across the grass (typical us, I know) that ended with a wonderful embrace. xD We then found Irvine and, as a group of three, walked to the nearby Cold Stones. Kata-chan talked mostly, blabbering about God-knows-what (but I love her anyway ;D). In Cold Stones, she wailed about how surprised she was that I got "a boyfriend" (when honestly, we're not official yet xD;;) and how she, as a "paternal" figure, progressed through the stages of acceptance. She constantly joked about making Irvine pay for us, and was completely stupefied when he actually did. We talked as we ate (well, mostly Kata-chan) and joked and told stories.
On our way back to Regal's (the cinema), I was surprised when Irvine slipped his hand into mine. I smiled, drawing just a bit closer to him than I had been before and lingering closer to his side. Inside the theater, we realized we had time to burn and went to one of those Foto Fun (God knows why they decided to spell "photo" wrong...) booths. We noticed that there was only enough space to comfortably seat two. Immediately, Kata-chan took charge.
"Okay. Sarah, you sit on Irvine's lap. I'll sit over here," she said, sitting off to the side as we arranged ourselves.
"What?!" I cried, almost not believing my ears.
Eventually, though, we settled as the money I put in activated the picture-taking sequence. As planned, I sat on his lap and suddenly felt his arms around my waist. Without needing to be prompted by the screen, I grinned. While we waited for the pictures to come out, I lifted my weight off of him-- just slightly.
"Sorry," I murmured. "I must be killing your legs."
He grinned at me. "No," he said simply.
I took that to mean I could reassume that position and settled comfortably on his lap, feeling my heart race.
"Comfortable?" I asked.
He nodded. "Are you?"
I grinned again. "Yeah," I murmured and kissed his cheek. (Trust me. I'm spazzing right now, too @_@) (And lol honestly, I can't remember who said who up there. My memory got hazy 'cause of the kiss on his cheek @_@)
Kata-chan managed to get the photo strips out, so we headed on over to the theater. After she left to get popcorn, she sat down and saw us sitting. She pushed me in his direction and we linked hands on the arm rest-- my left hand with his right.
And so we watched the movie-- just like that. Occasionally (I forget how many times; I wasn't quite paying attention) he'd kiss my cheek, or I'd kiss his. At one point, I could only stare at him (politely, I hope). He noticed and grinned at me.
"Are you even watching the movie?" he murmured.
I chuckled. "Some of it," I replied quietly.
At some of the scarier parts, I latched my other arm around his as well and sat there, clutching his arms. I'd lean my head on his shoulder and feel him leaning-- just barely-- on my head.
I remember at one point, I looked over at Kata-chan and nearly laughed out loud. She was sitting on the chair, her legs drawn to her chest, clutching onto the bag of popcorn like it was her dear life. She was simply in awe of the entire movie. I need to get her the DVD. xD It was hilarious.
After the movie, Kata-chan had to go home, so Irvine and I were free to roam. We ended up walking around aimlessly, his hand in mine. I liked that feeling; holding his hand, I mean.
We ended up walking to my friend's donut shop, conveniently located nearby, to wait for my sister (who picked me up). When we approached it, though, he dropped his hand from mine, which I felt a bit sad about. We hung out in D.K.'s Donuts for a bit before my sister and I decided to go home.
As we walked out, my sister wrapped her arm around Irvine and said goodbye. I hugged him, too, but instead of only one arm arouound the shoulder (the way he did for Arlene), he slung both arms around my shoulders and murmured a goodbye.
Annd thus ends my beautiful day. <3
So today, I saw two people that I really, really miss: my best friend Kata-chan and my friend-turned-crush-turned-almost-boyfriend (who, for the sake of identity protection, we'll call Irvine). We, as a group of three, went to the moviess to watch "Sherlock Holmes" (which, by the way, was a pretty darn good movie. I liked it :3).
When I got out of the car, I saw Kata-chan and we did a weird slo-mo running scene across the grass (typical us, I know) that ended with a wonderful embrace. xD We then found Irvine and, as a group of three, walked to the nearby Cold Stones. Kata-chan talked mostly, blabbering about God-knows-what (but I love her anyway ;D). In Cold Stones, she wailed about how surprised she was that I got "a boyfriend" (when honestly, we're not official yet xD;;) and how she, as a "paternal" figure, progressed through the stages of acceptance. She constantly joked about making Irvine pay for us, and was completely stupefied when he actually did. We talked as we ate (well, mostly Kata-chan) and joked and told stories.
On our way back to Regal's (the cinema), I was surprised when Irvine slipped his hand into mine. I smiled, drawing just a bit closer to him than I had been before and lingering closer to his side. Inside the theater, we realized we had time to burn and went to one of those Foto Fun (God knows why they decided to spell "photo" wrong...) booths. We noticed that there was only enough space to comfortably seat two. Immediately, Kata-chan took charge.
"Okay. Sarah, you sit on Irvine's lap. I'll sit over here," she said, sitting off to the side as we arranged ourselves.
"What?!" I cried, almost not believing my ears.
Eventually, though, we settled as the money I put in activated the picture-taking sequence. As planned, I sat on his lap and suddenly felt his arms around my waist. Without needing to be prompted by the screen, I grinned. While we waited for the pictures to come out, I lifted my weight off of him-- just slightly.
"Sorry," I murmured. "I must be killing your legs."
He grinned at me. "No," he said simply.
I took that to mean I could reassume that position and settled comfortably on his lap, feeling my heart race.
"Comfortable?" I asked.
He nodded. "Are you?"
I grinned again. "Yeah," I murmured and kissed his cheek. (Trust me. I'm spazzing right now, too @_@) (And lol honestly, I can't remember who said who up there. My memory got hazy 'cause of the kiss on his cheek @_@)
Kata-chan managed to get the photo strips out, so we headed on over to the theater. After she left to get popcorn, she sat down and saw us sitting. She pushed me in his direction and we linked hands on the arm rest-- my left hand with his right.
And so we watched the movie-- just like that. Occasionally (I forget how many times; I wasn't quite paying attention) he'd kiss my cheek, or I'd kiss his. At one point, I could only stare at him (politely, I hope). He noticed and grinned at me.
"Are you even watching the movie?" he murmured.
I chuckled. "Some of it," I replied quietly.
At some of the scarier parts, I latched my other arm around his as well and sat there, clutching his arms. I'd lean my head on his shoulder and feel him leaning-- just barely-- on my head.
I remember at one point, I looked over at Kata-chan and nearly laughed out loud. She was sitting on the chair, her legs drawn to her chest, clutching onto the bag of popcorn like it was her dear life. She was simply in awe of the entire movie. I need to get her the DVD. xD It was hilarious.
After the movie, Kata-chan had to go home, so Irvine and I were free to roam. We ended up walking around aimlessly, his hand in mine. I liked that feeling; holding his hand, I mean.
We ended up walking to my friend's donut shop, conveniently located nearby, to wait for my sister (who picked me up). When we approached it, though, he dropped his hand from mine, which I felt a bit sad about. We hung out in D.K.'s Donuts for a bit before my sister and I decided to go home.
As we walked out, my sister wrapped her arm around Irvine and said goodbye. I hugged him, too, but instead of only one arm arouound the shoulder (the way he did for Arlene), he slung both arms around my shoulders and murmured a goodbye.
Annd thus ends my beautiful day. <3
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Horrible Day, Good Day, What The Heck...
Lolol. The weather and my days need to make up their minds @_@
My day yesterday was absolutely miserable until after school (which I'll get to later ;D). I forgot to do a 100-point assignment for Mr. Frank... I turned in my practice report for Mr. Nowak late (to which he said, irritated, "MINUS 100 POINTS!")... My grades in general took a blow to where it hurts >_>
I was so miserable about my history grade that I didn't enjoy anything-- not the rain (which I would simply adore if it wasn't so cold), not the fact that I had my precious Gina-baby today. I was just hanging on until 5th period-- the one period I had with my crush. (If he reads this, I am so giving myself away... but again, since I'm convinced no one reads this, I'm going to keep blabbing anyway.) That period came and went without much interaction (we aren't in the same section, so we can't exactly talk across the room 'cause we were inside). I just had to hold on until after school.
I made it after school without any suicide attempts, at least :D That was how depressed I was. I have bad days on rainy days :S But anyway, I reported to the library for an AMSC tank cleaning!
I was surprised, to say the least, when my crush greeted me as I walked into the library. He had told me the day before that he wasn't going to come watch as I clean the tank. I'm glad he did, though :3
The first two rocks we pulled out were absolutely, horridly, disgustingly covered in a thick, black, slimy layer of what I assumed was fish poo. -shudders- Julie and Cherrie gagged at the smell. I did, too, at first, but then I realized it wasn't that bad. :P
Occassionally, my crush came by ("I've smelled worse," he shrugged at one point) and watched as we scrubbed the disgusting layers off the rocks in the minute space we had. After a while, he disappeared completely o_o;; Like, where did he go? I assumed he went to the public library across the street and, after shrugging to myself (he's got better things to do, after all) dismissed it. He's not going to stay for the entire time (which took about an hour and fifteen, by the way).
So you can imagine my surprise when, as we were finishing up, he popped up. I smiled, the way I always do when I see him, and we walked together to the library. He showed me the pretty rainbow otouto-kun talked about in her blog through a picture he took on his phone <3
Anyway, at the library, we did random things (-cough cough TALK ABOUT POKEMON-) until my sister came at 4:30, while we were duking it out on TapTap xD After they finished a round, I stuffed my crap into my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. As I picked up my book, I saw him hold his hand out expectantly.
"Book?" he asked.
"Uh... no," I said stupidly. "I kinda need this for homework."
I saw something that might have been a roll of the eyes as he took my history book and walked me out to my sister's car. When I grabbed the handle on the car door, his hand had reached out for it, too. Stupidly, I let my hand fall as he opened the door for me. I think I stuttered a thanks as I got in the car and grabbed my book, which I tossed into the back seat. When I turned back, the door was closed and he was waving at me.
Total shoujo manga moment? I think so. @_@
LOLOL I sure hope he's not reading this.
That was the good part of my horrible day YESTERDAY.
Today was pretty good :3 Probably 'cause the sun was out. <3
I aced a history quiz (which I DEFINITELY needed), did (hopefully) well on my alg. 2/trig test, and-- most importantly-- did well on my English skit on a scene from Great Expectations :D :D :D
5th period was so cold @_@ My section was outside ('cause the firsts take the stupid practice room D:<) and we were freezing D: I can't play violin with my jacket on, so I had to take it off to play. So eventually, we moved into the hallway :P And 6th period? UGHH. Our coach told us that we wouldn't need our stuff, so none of us brought it. Except for Arlene, Sandra, and Paula. -glares-
But anyway, after school, I went to a Colorguard clinic :3 It was actually pretty fun. I'd like to try Winter Guard, but I can't make any of the competitions... they're all on Saturday, when I have Scouts... (Maybe I can miss early or something. I don't know.) :S It was really fun, though.
By the way, I cut my fingers on the AMSC rocks... and even though it's not bleeding profusely, it stings like heck whenever I wash it with soap @_@ I shall call it my rock-cut.
I bid thee farewell.
My day yesterday was absolutely miserable until after school (which I'll get to later ;D). I forgot to do a 100-point assignment for Mr. Frank... I turned in my practice report for Mr. Nowak late (to which he said, irritated, "MINUS 100 POINTS!")... My grades in general took a blow to where it hurts >_>
I was so miserable about my history grade that I didn't enjoy anything-- not the rain (which I would simply adore if it wasn't so cold), not the fact that I had my precious Gina-baby today. I was just hanging on until 5th period-- the one period I had with my crush. (If he reads this, I am so giving myself away... but again, since I'm convinced no one reads this, I'm going to keep blabbing anyway.) That period came and went without much interaction (we aren't in the same section, so we can't exactly talk across the room 'cause we were inside). I just had to hold on until after school.
I made it after school without any suicide attempts, at least :D That was how depressed I was. I have bad days on rainy days :S But anyway, I reported to the library for an AMSC tank cleaning!
I was surprised, to say the least, when my crush greeted me as I walked into the library. He had told me the day before that he wasn't going to come watch as I clean the tank. I'm glad he did, though :3
The first two rocks we pulled out were absolutely, horridly, disgustingly covered in a thick, black, slimy layer of what I assumed was fish poo. -shudders- Julie and Cherrie gagged at the smell. I did, too, at first, but then I realized it wasn't that bad. :P
Occassionally, my crush came by ("I've smelled worse," he shrugged at one point) and watched as we scrubbed the disgusting layers off the rocks in the minute space we had. After a while, he disappeared completely o_o;; Like, where did he go? I assumed he went to the public library across the street and, after shrugging to myself (he's got better things to do, after all) dismissed it. He's not going to stay for the entire time (which took about an hour and fifteen, by the way).
So you can imagine my surprise when, as we were finishing up, he popped up. I smiled, the way I always do when I see him, and we walked together to the library. He showed me the pretty rainbow otouto-kun talked about in her blog through a picture he took on his phone <3
Anyway, at the library, we did random things (-cough cough TALK ABOUT POKEMON-) until my sister came at 4:30, while we were duking it out on TapTap xD After they finished a round, I stuffed my crap into my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. As I picked up my book, I saw him hold his hand out expectantly.
"Book?" he asked.
"Uh... no," I said stupidly. "I kinda need this for homework."
I saw something that might have been a roll of the eyes as he took my history book and walked me out to my sister's car. When I grabbed the handle on the car door, his hand had reached out for it, too. Stupidly, I let my hand fall as he opened the door for me. I think I stuttered a thanks as I got in the car and grabbed my book, which I tossed into the back seat. When I turned back, the door was closed and he was waving at me.
Total shoujo manga moment? I think so. @_@
LOLOL I sure hope he's not reading this.
That was the good part of my horrible day YESTERDAY.
Today was pretty good :3 Probably 'cause the sun was out. <3
I aced a history quiz (which I DEFINITELY needed), did (hopefully) well on my alg. 2/trig test, and-- most importantly-- did well on my English skit on a scene from Great Expectations :D :D :D
5th period was so cold @_@ My section was outside ('cause the firsts take the stupid practice room D:<) and we were freezing D: I can't play violin with my jacket on, so I had to take it off to play. So eventually, we moved into the hallway :P And 6th period? UGHH. Our coach told us that we wouldn't need our stuff, so none of us brought it. Except for Arlene, Sandra, and Paula. -glares-
But anyway, after school, I went to a Colorguard clinic :3 It was actually pretty fun. I'd like to try Winter Guard, but I can't make any of the competitions... they're all on Saturday, when I have Scouts... (Maybe I can miss early or something. I don't know.) :S It was really fun, though.
By the way, I cut my fingers on the AMSC rocks... and even though it's not bleeding profusely, it stings like heck whenever I wash it with soap @_@ I shall call it my rock-cut.
I bid thee farewell.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Happy birthday to Christine :3
Lol. I've been having a pretty good week, despite my lack of sleep :3
I'm convinced that no one reads this blog, so I'm going to enter the light a bit more :3
I used to have a crush on the same guy for the last four years, but I've finally gotten over him. Finally. And hopefully, this will be the last time this happens.
I have a new crush, although I'm kind of scared it won't work out... he's a junior... I'm a freshie... my sister is his close friend...
...
ANYWAY.
Today is my best friend Kata-chan's birthday :3 I can't wait for her party on Sunday <3 I haven't seen her since we played her school's tennis team. She's coming to my tennis banquet, which makes me happy :3
Also, I got a random subscriber on YouTube under my new account, SoraRyuuzaki for my cover of Just Be Friends <3 :3 I'm happy. That means I'm not just being subscribed to for friendship's sake T~T They even said I was incredible! Simple, yet incredible! I was so happy.... T^T
I auditioned for GATE High School Ensemble yesterday (gosh, just yesterday? Seems like ages ago...). I don't think I did very well :S BUT. I think I can get in :P Hopefully. I hope I don't get a lower chair than Franklin Ngo, who was under me last year...
Anyway, I should go to sleep now :P G'night <3
I'm convinced that no one reads this blog, so I'm going to enter the light a bit more :3
I used to have a crush on the same guy for the last four years, but I've finally gotten over him. Finally. And hopefully, this will be the last time this happens.
I have a new crush, although I'm kind of scared it won't work out... he's a junior... I'm a freshie... my sister is his close friend...
...
ANYWAY.
Today is my best friend Kata-chan's birthday :3 I can't wait for her party on Sunday <3 I haven't seen her since we played her school's tennis team. She's coming to my tennis banquet, which makes me happy :3
Also, I got a random subscriber on YouTube under my new account, SoraRyuuzaki for my cover of Just Be Friends <3 :3 I'm happy. That means I'm not just being subscribed to for friendship's sake T~T They even said I was incredible! Simple, yet incredible! I was so happy.... T^T
I auditioned for GATE High School Ensemble yesterday (gosh, just yesterday? Seems like ages ago...). I don't think I did very well :S BUT. I think I can get in :P Hopefully. I hope I don't get a lower chair than Franklin Ngo, who was under me last year...
Anyway, I should go to sleep now :P G'night <3
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Well...
Thanksgiving came and went... surprisingly, I didn't gain much weight o_O;; I bought new clothes on Black Friday, though :3
So yesterday, I suddenly got the urge to record at 12 midnight... o_o;; I'd recorded my Just Be Friends audition for YTChorus (I don't think I'll get in... my audition sounds kind of iffy :S). I heard some of the other auditions, and... Eek. o_o;; They were... not that good. (Sorry.) Not that mine was better, but they sounded pretty bad. :S I kind of want to get in; I kind of don't.
Watch my audition here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2VOHQJixMc
The more I hear it... the more I think I'm not going to get in. =_=;;
Anyway.
I decided I wanted to do an English and Dance cover for 2PM's Again and Again :3 I rewrote the lyricsand know most of the dance already. My favorite part to do is the rap, surprisingly :3 I've taken a liking to rapping now; it's gotten pretty fun. I'm also working on a coover of Jaejjoong and Yoochun's Shelteer (from their Colors: Melody and Harmony single :3) which has its fair of fun fun fun rap <3>_> It kind of makes me wonder what exactly Yoochun was thinking when he wrote the lyrics...
I want to get good enough at singing so that I don't doubt myself anymore 'cause I do that a lot. When I record, I think it sounds fine at first, but as I listen to it, I become more and more discouraged because it doesn't sound the way I want it to. :S I want to get it good once, and love it a thousand times over <3
But then again, it takes practice and time. I'm confident that I won't get accomplish anything with singing, save for self-pride, but I'd still rather do it than not because it's music, and that in itself is unarguable reason for me.
Listen to me sing. If you hate it, tell me you hate it, then tell me why so I can make it so you don't hate it (and hopefully, so I don't hate it, either).
So yesterday, I suddenly got the urge to record at 12 midnight... o_o;; I'd recorded my Just Be Friends audition for YTChorus (I don't think I'll get in... my audition sounds kind of iffy :S). I heard some of the other auditions, and... Eek. o_o;; They were... not that good. (Sorry.) Not that mine was better, but they sounded pretty bad. :S I kind of want to get in; I kind of don't.
Watch my audition here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2VOHQJixMc
The more I hear it... the more I think I'm not going to get in. =_=;;
Anyway.
I decided I wanted to do an English and Dance cover for 2PM's Again and Again :3 I rewrote the lyricsand know most of the dance already. My favorite part to do is the rap, surprisingly :3 I've taken a liking to rapping now; it's gotten pretty fun. I'm also working on a coover of Jaejjoong and Yoochun's Shelteer (from their Colors: Melody and Harmony single :3) which has its fair of fun fun fun rap <3>_> It kind of makes me wonder what exactly Yoochun was thinking when he wrote the lyrics...
I want to get good enough at singing so that I don't doubt myself anymore 'cause I do that a lot. When I record, I think it sounds fine at first, but as I listen to it, I become more and more discouraged because it doesn't sound the way I want it to. :S I want to get it good once, and love it a thousand times over <3
But then again, it takes practice and time. I'm confident that I won't get accomplish anything with singing, save for self-pride, but I'd still rather do it than not because it's music, and that in itself is unarguable reason for me.
Listen to me sing. If you hate it, tell me you hate it, then tell me why so I can make it so you don't hate it (and hopefully, so I don't hate it, either).
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Ughh... not satisfied.
So, uh... I've spent the last hour trying to see what I sound like when I sing. And boy, is it not pretty.
It's not that my voice is bad; it's just that it's not what I want it to be. My voice is really husky, and I want it to be clear... kind of like Junsu from DBSK's. Right now, it sounds kind of like Changmin's... but not as good. :S It's not really satisfying for me to hear myself.
The other day, I sang for otouto-kun and Cecilia. I sang "Love in the Ice", the song I practiced nonstop for like, three months... and counting xD;; Otouto-kun was amazed by my voice and pitch; so was Cecilia. When I listened to myself sing things like "Rainy Night" by Xiah Junsu, "Hug" by DBSK, "Love is War"... I wasn't on pitch, and my voice was blehh.
But the thing is, when I recorded "Love in the Ice" for myself to hear... it was weird. It didn't quite sound like myself. My voice sounded a lot more sure and in tune than it did when I was singing the other songs. Maybe it's because I practiced "Love in the Ice" so much.
Now the Vocaloid song... "Love is War" is definitely a song that's suited for my confusion right now, but the pitch strains my voice a bit too much. I can't get a clear sound from my voice and the "aah" at the beginning isn't right on the pitch because I'm trying to vibrato when I can't... maybe I should try not to vibrato? But then the pitch climbs up anyway... :S It's pretty frustrating to listen to myself sing it. I still don't know the song very well; maybe that's why... but ehh. :S
I'm not quite satisfied with my voice; I think I'm not as good as people have been telling me I am... maybe it's just because they've been listening to the songs I can sing well, not the ones that I can't. :S
Maybe I'll post a cover of "Love in the Ice" for y'all to hear :D I'd like to know what other people think. As of right now, I'm pretty dissatisfied with my singing and I'd like to make it better... I'll practice a lot more.
And another thing... when we went to go karaoke for Girl's Night Out, my sister told me I sounded better with the microphone o_O;; She said my voice wasn't as bad as it usually is. Maybe I should try singing with a real microphone instead of that crappy little recording thing on my MP4 player xD I'll try that, too...
If I actually had auditioned for JYPE I probably would have been kicked for sure xD But I guess it's all right; I'll try next year... and I'll be better ;D
ANYWAY. I love Younha now... I saw this totally awesome cover of Gee by her and I'm totally in love with it. It's better than the original, I think. I heard her perform live on a Japanese music show (an old performance of Houki Boshi). When she introduced herself, her voice was really cutesy but when she began to sing, it was freakin' AMAZING. Younha is my freaking idol now. I love her.
It's not that my voice is bad; it's just that it's not what I want it to be. My voice is really husky, and I want it to be clear... kind of like Junsu from DBSK's. Right now, it sounds kind of like Changmin's... but not as good. :S It's not really satisfying for me to hear myself.
The other day, I sang for otouto-kun and Cecilia. I sang "Love in the Ice", the song I practiced nonstop for like, three months... and counting xD;; Otouto-kun was amazed by my voice and pitch; so was Cecilia. When I listened to myself sing things like "Rainy Night" by Xiah Junsu, "Hug" by DBSK, "Love is War"... I wasn't on pitch, and my voice was blehh.
But the thing is, when I recorded "Love in the Ice" for myself to hear... it was weird. It didn't quite sound like myself. My voice sounded a lot more sure and in tune than it did when I was singing the other songs. Maybe it's because I practiced "Love in the Ice" so much.
Now the Vocaloid song... "Love is War" is definitely a song that's suited for my confusion right now, but the pitch strains my voice a bit too much. I can't get a clear sound from my voice and the "aah" at the beginning isn't right on the pitch because I'm trying to vibrato when I can't... maybe I should try not to vibrato? But then the pitch climbs up anyway... :S It's pretty frustrating to listen to myself sing it. I still don't know the song very well; maybe that's why... but ehh. :S
I'm not quite satisfied with my voice; I think I'm not as good as people have been telling me I am... maybe it's just because they've been listening to the songs I can sing well, not the ones that I can't. :S
Maybe I'll post a cover of "Love in the Ice" for y'all to hear :D I'd like to know what other people think. As of right now, I'm pretty dissatisfied with my singing and I'd like to make it better... I'll practice a lot more.
And another thing... when we went to go karaoke for Girl's Night Out, my sister told me I sounded better with the microphone o_O;; She said my voice wasn't as bad as it usually is. Maybe I should try singing with a real microphone instead of that crappy little recording thing on my MP4 player xD I'll try that, too...
If I actually had auditioned for JYPE I probably would have been kicked for sure xD But I guess it's all right; I'll try next year... and I'll be better ;D
ANYWAY. I love Younha now... I saw this totally awesome cover of Gee by her and I'm totally in love with it. It's better than the original, I think. I heard her perform live on a Japanese music show (an old performance of Houki Boshi). When she introduced herself, her voice was really cutesy but when she began to sing, it was freakin' AMAZING. Younha is my freaking idol now. I love her.
Music Updates! <3
Mm'kays. So I've had a pretty good week when it comes to finding good music.
SHINee released their awesome single, "Ring Ding Dong" from their new mini album "2009, Year of Us"... and I'm TOTALLY digging it. Of course, this was like, two, three weeks ago, so they've been going around and winning bunches of Mutizens and stuff for their awesome single... they're beating out veterans like SS501, whom some seem to acknowledge as DBSK's rival (which is a pretty bad comparison; I say Big Bang is their rival).
Last night, Younha (singer of Houki Boshi, a Bleach anime ending that I really loved) released a music video for her new Japanese single, "Sukinanda". I like it. It's a really nice song; maybe I'll learn it and sing it for Banquet (along with the other hundred things I plan to do for it xD). It's a sweet song...
A few days ago, I saw "Vanilla Love", a song featuring SHINee's Onew, with subs on the SHINeeSubs youtube channel. I saw it... and felt like I was going to shrivel up and die. Not because the song was so sweet, but because I was rejected almost two weeks ago and it's still an open wound. The song was like rubbing salt into it... I loved the song, but it was just killing me at the same time.
Also! Last night, I watched the Star Secret Documentary for DBSK. It talked about their rise to popularity in Korea, then their foray into Asia. And hell, when they were talking about their Japanese exploits, I wanted to cry... They started out as absolutely no one when they were a household name in Korea, but now they've climbed the ladder and are number one in both Japan and Korea! Of course, their title in Korea is starting to slip 'cause they've been gone for so long, but they'll get it back ;D Cassiopoeia is too damn awesome to let them go down.
In addition to that, I saw them perform a song from their live concert final in the Tokyo Dome, their dream. And it wasn't just any song-- it was their double encore, "Love in the Ice"-- arguably one of their best songs ever. It was so touching; it made me want to cry... I wanted to crank up the volume and watch it full screen, but that's w hy I want to buy the DVD. THen I could see them perform it any time I want <3>
Also! I saw an interesting article on allkpop.com that said, "Where the PHO is Xiah Junsu?" Being a Cassiopoeia, I clicked on the article 'cause I was curious. It's funny because apparently, Junsu, who isn't acting in a drama or participating in promoting a single while pending for the lawsuit to finish,opened up a pho restaurant in Korea. xD I'd heard that Koreans love pho, but I didn't know that they loved it that much... and apparently, it's doing well, too! Maybe he's fundraising for DBSK's termination of their 13-year contract? Gearing up to quit SME and move on to like, JYP or YG? o_O JOIN JYP! :D
Speaking of JYPE, I was considering auditioning for them this year... that is, until I realized that their audition date for LA was yesterday. =_=;; Smooth. But like... I kind of want to see what they think of my singing. I want to know if I'm good or if I suck.
You see, I get two different kinds of opinions: from passerby and people around me, I get, "HOMG. I love your voice. You should be in chorus.", but from my sister, I get, "Your voice sucks. It sounds like you're trying too hard." I honestly don't know which one I should trust... :S
Maybe I should do that YouTube chorus thing :O Since season's over, I should have a lot more time. Or at least do like, covers of songs... o_O;; Maybe I'll do Vocaloid songs xDDD First one: Love is War! :D Lol... I'll see...
Well, the thing is, I'm not into the idea of a program singing for you, but like, I do think that it's cool to try to sing those songs. Love is War is a freaking awesome song when performed by a real person (I'd love to hear DBSK sing it... -shivers-)
Anyway, I'll go listen to the song... Maybe I'll figure it out x]
SHINee released their awesome single, "Ring Ding Dong" from their new mini album "2009, Year of Us"... and I'm TOTALLY digging it. Of course, this was like, two, three weeks ago, so they've been going around and winning bunches of Mutizens and stuff for their awesome single... they're beating out veterans like SS501, whom some seem to acknowledge as DBSK's rival (which is a pretty bad comparison; I say Big Bang is their rival).
Last night, Younha (singer of Houki Boshi, a Bleach anime ending that I really loved) released a music video for her new Japanese single, "Sukinanda". I like it. It's a really nice song; maybe I'll learn it and sing it for Banquet (along with the other hundred things I plan to do for it xD). It's a sweet song...
A few days ago, I saw "Vanilla Love", a song featuring SHINee's Onew, with subs on the SHINeeSubs youtube channel. I saw it... and felt like I was going to shrivel up and die. Not because the song was so sweet, but because I was rejected almost two weeks ago and it's still an open wound. The song was like rubbing salt into it... I loved the song, but it was just killing me at the same time.
Also! Last night, I watched the Star Secret Documentary for DBSK. It talked about their rise to popularity in Korea, then their foray into Asia. And hell, when they were talking about their Japanese exploits, I wanted to cry... They started out as absolutely no one when they were a household name in Korea, but now they've climbed the ladder and are number one in both Japan and Korea! Of course, their title in Korea is starting to slip 'cause they've been gone for so long, but they'll get it back ;D Cassiopoeia is too damn awesome to let them go down.
In addition to that, I saw them perform a song from their live concert final in the Tokyo Dome, their dream. And it wasn't just any song-- it was their double encore, "Love in the Ice"-- arguably one of their best songs ever. It was so touching; it made me want to cry... I wanted to crank up the volume and watch it full screen, but that's w hy I want to buy the DVD. THen I could see them perform it any time I want <3>
Also! I saw an interesting article on allkpop.com that said, "Where the PHO is Xiah Junsu?" Being a Cassiopoeia, I clicked on the article 'cause I was curious. It's funny because apparently, Junsu, who isn't acting in a drama or participating in promoting a single while pending for the lawsuit to finish,opened up a pho restaurant in Korea. xD I'd heard that Koreans love pho, but I didn't know that they loved it that much... and apparently, it's doing well, too! Maybe he's fundraising for DBSK's termination of their 13-year contract? Gearing up to quit SME and move on to like, JYP or YG? o_O JOIN JYP! :D
Speaking of JYPE, I was considering auditioning for them this year... that is, until I realized that their audition date for LA was yesterday. =_=;; Smooth. But like... I kind of want to see what they think of my singing. I want to know if I'm good or if I suck.
You see, I get two different kinds of opinions: from passerby and people around me, I get, "HOMG. I love your voice. You should be in chorus.", but from my sister, I get, "Your voice sucks. It sounds like you're trying too hard." I honestly don't know which one I should trust... :S
Maybe I should do that YouTube chorus thing :O Since season's over, I should have a lot more time. Or at least do like, covers of songs... o_O;; Maybe I'll do Vocaloid songs xDDD First one: Love is War! :D Lol... I'll see...
Well, the thing is, I'm not into the idea of a program singing for you, but like, I do think that it's cool to try to sing those songs. Love is War is a freaking awesome song when performed by a real person (I'd love to hear DBSK sing it... -shivers-)
Anyway, I'll go listen to the song... Maybe I'll figure it out x]
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